Hey, Soul Sister

Sitting here tonight, watching the Sex and the City movie for the millionth time, I became a little sad because I realized that this summer I not only lost two very best friends, but I also lost the smiles. Smiles that were brought on from the fabulous memories that now bring me to the verge of tears.

I cant even recall the reason the fight began all I remember is breaking down in the middle of Target because my 13 year friendships had ended. The tall one was my guide and the short one was my ruler. With them any question I had could be answered, every problem could be solved, and no matter what in the end I had them. Having them both ripped from me nearly broke me, but I had my soul. My soul has been with me no matter what, she knows all my truths and faults and how to solve a problem like Maria.

Its friends like her that make me know that the sadness i feel at times when i watch movies such as Sex and the City, or see my mom with her girls, will go away because she'll always be there. It makes me hope that everyone in the world has that one friend they know that no matter what they will be there. That no matter how long its been or what the fight was about its over as soon as a tearful call is made or a week goes by. So that's my wish that everyone finds or keeps that one person close to their heart as long as possible.

Dreamless

So here I am cleaning off my tear drentched key board and thinking about loosing another person I hold dear.


Cancer. Wow that one word alone sends chills down my spine. Yes it is true that people to survive cancer but it is also true that some people do not. And some people like my aunt just can't take the after effects of the chemotherapy. Chemotherapy side affects are commonly thought to be waekness and vometing. But what happens when that includes a lose of appetite, sores all over the body, depression, loss of hair, and guilt.



I belive in dreams. Dreams are the first thing i think of when I wake up and usually what I think of throughout the day. I belive dreams are how our subconscious, a higher being, and those we've lost and loved send messages to our concsiuosness.

I hope she wont send me any messages soon....

Crisis

When at last life seems to be letting me live and be happy. No another crisis is thrown in my face.Watching the secret life of an American teenager on ABC family i always felt bad for the pregnant teen. Wondered how the family could handle the crisis and still love each other the same. Well now life has put the question on my lap and thrown me a curve ball i did not expect.

My fourteen year old cousin is pregnant and asked me to help her out. Should i tell her about my time? Should i help her tell her parents? should i tell my mom? should i tell her to do what i did and have it "taken care of"? Or should i respect her maturity of keeping the baby and indeed sit her and her parents down to talk about it.

Her parents: Her mother is a little out there. She would not be the kind understanding adult that is shown on T.V. when something lie this happens. Her mother would maybe kick her out or tell her she doesn't deserve to live or something even more horrible. And then there is her father. A military man that believes his family is not worthy of him. Who somehow always manages to be nice to your face but you know he doesn't respect women in the way they should be treated. He would kick her out for sure. Or make her "take care of it".

The family: my family would open there arms to her. One of our aunts went through the same situation and as a result has my cousin. Yes i do believe the family especially certain aunts and uncles would be there for her. But can I? How can I? I am away at school. How can I help her when i am so far away?

HELP!